anxiety sickness

i feel very ill right now. like my heart is caught in my throat again. in yoga yesterday, brittany said that the mind and the body are connected. that if one is abuzz the other will be as well. i feel in my body what my mind does not want to deal with, i’ve known this, but somehow forgot.

i think i’m also mad that he brought something up, and there was no resolution. we talked about a lot, but didn’t come to any conclusions or solutions, then the rest was ignored completely. i thought that with school being over, we’d be able to spend more time together and get closer. the opposite has happened. why is it when i was losing my mind that’s when we worked better. we should be able to figure this out for sure right?

i think maybe i need more than he can give me.
i think it’s immature and foolish not to talk these things through.
i think if we keep going like nothing is wrong we’ll run ourselves into the ground.
i’m not sure we’re good for each other.
i’m not sure either of us can compromise enough to be okay.
i think that i need to explain my life a little more
i think i’m tired.

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