nathan and i talked. he said that this isn’t what a relationship should be like. that you should be able to communicate or give warning that something was so upsetting.
does that mean he would go to counseling? does that mean that he would change? does that me that i need to? what are the steps and processes? how do we give healing to the relationship? how do we repair something so broken? where do you put resentment? how difficult is this supposed to be? i know so many people that go through hard times, how do they get through? celebrating love.
what would i change? him showing me affection. our communication about everything. i want him to include me in more of his life, and for him to be included in more of mine. i want support and talking when something happens. investing in the relationship and doing anything to make it work. 2 parties involved in communication. interest in success and failures.
active listening = listening and asking questions.
i understand that you…
practice talking through concerns thoroughly
i didn’t want to make ultimatums. i jump to conclusions. jealousy rules me – fearful state; need assurance
set intention of talk
id each other’s position
socartes – i want to share about x, please help me understand y. it seems like you feel x and i feel y, do you agree?
solutions = 1) hear and understand. 2) rational solutions – i see that we disagree on x, but we both want y, let’s think of solutions together.what can i do to make things easier on you? you make me very happy, i’d like to ask you to do x.
when you don’t show me or tell me about love, it makes me feel neglected. when you don’t share parts of your day or about other people you are close to, it make me feel uninvolved.
do we still dress and act the same as when we met? why not?
sharing something new.
no roommate behavior
take a vacay together
stop focusing on it all the time
forget bad stuff
try new things in bed
big stuff needs to be shared with your partner
what is infidelity? what do you consider flirting?
suspicions or doubts need to be given to your partner
if you’re in a committed relationship, is it communicated everywhere?
not oversharing about our relationship
honesty, adventure and vulnerability
diary – to record thoughts/feelings/perceptions