The end.

“I know all of this puts an end to any sort of friendship possibilities with you and the group at large. I do not expect to really be apart of anything anymore. I know that you must be really hurt and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. I have been a pretty […]

my best fucking friend

he is the family i chose. i had a huge heart to heart with my best friend. he’s simply amazing. it’s unfair what he’s been through. the most beautiful of people i’ve ever known. i could try to tell people, but words and people can’t comprehend him. he’s had an illness. it’s forever. i’m not […]


seeing nathan yesterday was really good. like he was weird, as always. i was nervous about seeing him since our texts talking about where to go, etc threw me off. i got there first and of course, he relied on me to start talking about whatever i was doing. i always have a lot going […]

Nervous excitement

Otherwise known as anxiety. Of course I’ve been thinking far too much about meeting up. I think the thing I need to recognize is what to do when I feel that way. When we were together I ignored it. Now I want to address it and remain calm. He seems very confused right now. Unfocused […]

here i am.

i’m in the midst of studying for the gre, beginning to run again, helping (what little i can) to plan rach’s wedding, and getting my life in well working order. i’ve done a lot of checks and balances since nathan and i broke up. i’ve been trying to assertion when those anxious feeling arise, what […]

grateful 7.30.14

1. attentive sister 2. good friends 3. “i can skip it if it’s important” 4. bed + coffee + writing 5. tasty tuesday 6. morning to myself 7. filed! 8. got rid of wretched desk 9. morning walks 10. late evening talks with roomies


i keep having dreams about us breaking up. i am constantly trying to squelch this fear, but boom, sleep time = unlucky thoughts. i need to manage the dreams! i’m trying to work out how to bring this up. last time did not go well. in fact i was told that i was wrong and […]