how to wear your pj’s in public

when i was little, i wore huge tshirts to bed. it’s the most comfortable thing you could possibly wear… chronologically, i’ve been basically trying to do this for years. -i also used to just wear sleepwear out and about, then i graduated college. -when leggings grew popular a few years back, they were my flip towards […]

grateful 8.9.14

1. sister wedding! 2. MOH 3. nz!!! 4. my friends are literally the best 5. BROC in PDX 6. let’s get loaded somewhere tomorrow… 7. telling signs 8. i tried. hard 9. someday i’ll sleep. 10. bike fixed 11. my dad is the best in the whole world. he has all the words 12. ukulele, […]


I think I did some very bad things with Nathan. I hid that the beginning of our relationship was not overlapping like he did for me. When we got back together, I hid that I hadn’t totally forgiven him. He was just so happy to be back together, I didn’t want to make him feel […]

numb weirdness.

i’m writing more. with no fewer conclusions to be drawn. yesterday, mackenzie and i were talking about a lot. i was shaking. i shake when i’m uncomfortable. i really didn’t want to have that conversation at that time, but oh well. you can’t hide behind booze forever. i’m felt very guilty about everything earlier, but […]

oh i kind of see.

i had a dream of max last night. i can’t remember everyone that was there, because they changed like anyone’s crazy dream. beeks and i went boating and thought we had sunk the ship, turns out that we just ended up digging the wrong one out of the water. the boat had been there all […]


we went to lunch. i could feel the difference immediately. his discomfort was insurmountable. both of us quickened through and couldn’t really eat. we started walking. i asked if he wanted to talk now. i said how are you feeling, he said nothing. i said you want to break up. he said i think i […]

my words for today.

thank you for trying so hard to give me everything i need. i was blinded to all of it before and do now. i’m sorry for being selfish and only thinking of myself by not seeing what you were doing and not thinking of your needs as well. i want to feel safe in our […]

Here I sit

Here I sit awaiting a fun day on the boat. I’m completely unbalanced emotionally and I’m not sure what this means. Maybe I can’t reach the balance or maybe it’s the situation. I’ve never really felt in control of my moods or otherwise my actions sometimes. I’m struggling with day to day. I can’t turn […]

we’re breaking up.

so a few months ago, i had a freakout that we were distant. basically when i talked to him about it, he was like, i don’t have that problem, you do something to fix it. i wanted us to be a team and figure out a way for me to feel safe and secure. instead […]